Economics

One three-second snore. It starts off loud and tapers off gently into a light flutter. Drool. Not a large puddle, but a trickle. Warmth. Softness. Encased in the secure comfort of someone else's arms, uncomfortably around your back and across your chest, you can see everything you love in her. The experience is only served when she is awake, but you see her intelligent eyes and caring smile behind the trickle and hear her compassionate voice through the flutter.

I worry that my relationship isn't passing muster. As a 22 year old without a six pack, living in a different state, out of sight, and continually complaining about not getting into a top law school, I fear I'll bite the dust unless I can show my gal that the marginal benefits outweigh the marginal costs. She predictably thinks in such terms...she's too smart not to. It wouldn't be so hard if she lived in a hole. But in the big apple, I know pickings aren't slim. She probably has her pickings and wants to make a new pick. Or, at least it feels that way.

Or communication is compromised. Our phone calls used to last all lunch, but now only rare nights and rare weekends. I guess I wasn't making great conversation, but that never was the point. I was on the phone, trying.

I only remember that I am a blogger late at night. I doubt any of my posts will be during regular hours. I forget that I've done this as I hit the pillow. But the doubts attack late at night.

I get my LSAT score Monday. I doubt anything earthshattering will come of it. Hopefully it's not worse than last time. I want to go to the University of Michigan and be a law clerk.

Job Hunt

As a recent graduate from a reputable university, I feared employment more than unemployment. Do I want a job? Probably not. I enjoy video games and books. I'm going to add blogging to the list, perhaps.

Where have I applied? It feels like everywhere. Trader Joes seemed quite promising. I passed the basic addition and subtraction portions of their application. I made the supervisor laugh, and he claimed to be impressed by my resume. He promised to pass a good word on to the "Captain" or the "First Mate", but I haven't gotten a call. What qualifications do they want at Trader Joes? How will I ever find work if others believe I'm incapable of scanning and bagging?

On the upside, I use my free time wisely. I picked up Extremely Loud & Incredibly Closer, the novel gifted to me from Priya's sister, Vidya. It laid dormant in my desk for months, but I love the flow. I'm on level 22 of 27 in Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance. I am trying to get an old video of my mom's mom and dad out of my dad, but he doesn't want to give it up without my mom asking for it. I'm learning valuable negotiation skills. I am writing personal statements every few days. I lament my uknown LSAT score, which is sure not to get me into a top law school. That's probably okay, since I don't know why I want that so badly anyhow. Priya leaves for Boston in 16 hours. She's a great sister and I think Divya will experience a better parent's weekend than anyone else.

I want to get my LSAT score and move on with my life. But, what will that involve? If I don't get a job soon, I'll start reading more Contracts. Dad bought me a contracts hornbook for my birthday. It's more useful than a wind up radio or Masters of Deception, which actually was an awesome book and I loved going through it with him, until I found out at my Aunt's house that it was bought for his clients and he had extra. Aunt Sue has one on her coffee table too.

My mom is buying a car soon. Hopefully. She isn't happy anymore with the Avalon. She wants an Acura TL, but I think Mark doesn't like the ride. It isn't sporty enough for him. My mom should really buy it anyway. The car made her feel like a topaz. You can tell.

Karen is somewhere. She is probably up right now too. I wonder if sleep disorders are genetic. I think she is going on a trip to Mexico soon. Maybe later. Maybe Spain.

Blogs can be positive or negative. I'm not sure which way this is going. I can tell that I need an outlet. I don't talk with people much. Priya and I talk about 10 minutes each day. We are on the phone for about an hour. No one I know is around, except me and the internet, so I'll make do. We're in it together.

I'm going to try and use this blog as a positive though. I want to start making topical posts on constitutional or civil rights law questions.

I want to learn how to make Sambar from Anshu's mom.

This is good enough for my first post.